Many people have major problems with stereotypes, except when those stereotypes are positive. The question has to be asked: What is the difference? Are we so politically correct that we have trained ourselves to believe only positive descriptions can be applied to groups? And on the other hand, we believe that any negative stereotypes are purely irrational, with no basis in truth? For some reason, it is perfectly acceptable for me to say “Americans are hardworking, innovative and competitive.” Do those adjectives apply to all Americans? Of course not! We all know lazy, uncreative, unmotivated Americans, but nobody creates a fuss over the statement. Say something negative about any group, however, and inevitably the politically-correct police come out of the woodwork.

This Friday I fly to India and finally will experience in person the land of so many thoughts and stereotypes that have been swirling around in my brain for years. I’ve seen Bollywood movies and watched Westernized depictions of Indians. I’ve read India travel guides and National Geographic articles. I’ve seen live CNN news from Mumbai and listened to Indian music. I’ve met several Indians. After all this, I have visions of snake charmers, yogis, and bindi (forehead dots), spirituality, the Taj Mahal, Gandhi, fraternal polyandry, cities with millions of destitute and impoverished people, good food, cheap accommodations, big time construction, phone centers, and dozens of other things dancing in my head.

All of those things are little tiny pieces of a big multi-faceted cultural pie that no one can ever hope to fully comprehend. Visiting a country, engaging the people, eating the food, trying to live like them if only momentarily in spirit, starts to connect those tiny pieces in ways that a big-picture understanding emerges. That big picture will be full of holes and monstrous gaps, but it is infinitely better than little crumbs of information floating around.

What does all this have to do with stereotyping, you ask? Well, I have other perceptions of Indians as well, and not all are good. For instance, after talking to so many others who’ve visited India, some for months on end, I’m convinced that many Indians will try to deceive me, scam me, cheat me, and then lack any shame if caught. Obviously not all do this. Most likely, the percentage of scammers in India is extremely small and not much different from other countries. With a population of a billion people, and concentrated metropolitan hubs of several million, it stands to reason that, based on raw numbers, I have a greater chance of being robbed or cheated in India than elsewhere.

So, when I fly into India Friday and have my backpack tightly clutched, my pockets buttoned tight, and my eyes constantly roving, am I being paranoid or cautious? Am I buying into stereotypes with no basis in fact? Does it make you cringe to read about this stereotype? What if I were to say Indians are so spiritual I can’t wait to discover that aspect of the culture—now, is that an acceptable stereotype? Is it any closer to reality?

And these are the things I ask myself. And this is why I think stereotyping is okay, whether they are good or bad. As long as a person is grounded enough and thoughtful enough to realize stereotypes are group-wide generalizations—sometimes accurate and sometimes not, sometimes applicable to an individual and sometimes not—then I see nothing wrong with using stereotypes as one tool in a big cultural understanding toolbox. I see nothing wrong with entering a new place with a little more caution than the last place, based on stereotypes. Nor do I  see anything wrong with modifying my belief in a stereotype regularly as I gain more understanding.

That’s the real key in stereotypes: understanding. Without understanding or even the desire to understand, stereotypes can be very harmful. However, having the willingness to test stereotypes firsthand, having the intelligence to know that stereotypes might be totally wrong, and having the temperament to independently change opinions is beneficial to everyone. But yeah, my eyes will be scanning everyone for negative intentions when I arrive in India on Friday…it might save me from being robbed!

For 24 hours during Nyepi, the island is like a big ghost town, with even the airport closed. A few minutes before the start, and a few minutes near the end, I snuck outside to take in the silent black night, traffic-free roads, clear starry sky, and clean air—definitely a pleasant and unique memory I won’t soon forget. Without further ado, here are my reflections:

THE GRASS IS GREENER…

In Thailand’s convenience stores, you’d be challenged to find some regular skin cream. What you’ll find cartloads of, are containers of “whitening cream.” Yes, many Thai women want their beautifully toned skin to be light…In the US, you’ll find in every city many tanning salons. Many light skinned Americans, mostly women, are obsessed with having tanned skin, no matter what the longterm health ramifications.

I have an announcement for women all over the world: Be happy with your skin color! You will do more damage than good by trying to change it.

In Bali, my surf instructor’s “dream,” since he was a kid, has been to marry a Western woman and move to her country…Also in Bali, every Western restaurant (pizza places, hamburger shops, ice cream parlors) is owned by a Australian or European man married to a Balinese woman they preferred over their own countrywomen. Hmmm…

In Cambodia, Thailand, and most of SE Asia, many people seem totally content, but when I get into deeper conversations with them, they inevitably bring up money and how wonderful their lives would be, and all their problems solved, if only they had a little more money…In the US, I think of how wealthy people are, even the ones that think they are poor. I also consider how many Americans are depressed, on medications, overweight, etc. They also think that throwing money at their problems will solve them. Americans have the money to throw at problems, but it’s rare for the problems to permanently go away. When will we all learn that money isn’t the answer, and can do only so much for our emotional well being after basic needs are met?

Speaking financially, I continue to be perplexed at the complete ignorance, laziness, or dismissiveness of people around the world to plan for their futures. WHY DO PEOPLE NOT SAVE MONEY? In the US, our savings rate hovers around 0% as people keep buying on credit, taking out loans, and never living below their means. The Chinese seem to have it right. They save about 30% of their incomes. The rest of the world, like the US, also seems hell bent on spending every last penny earned. In Bali, one of the hostesses for a nightclub told me she’s a single mother and bragged about how she eats at fancy restaurants all the time. I asked why she doesn’t save that money. She said she has no savings, and asked why she would save? MAYBE FOR YOUR SON’S SECURITY! Unbelievable.

REEVALUATING OUR NOTIONS OF SAFETY

A few days ago I rode a motorcycle down to Kuta Beach, Bali. I wore swim trunks. No shoes, no helmet, no reflective vest. One arm was carrying the surfboard, while the other arm controlled the steering, accelerator, and braking. Somehow I lived.

I remember several years ago when a boss held a meeting and was very upset that he had seen a family driving down on the road and that a toddler in the car hadn’t been in a government-approved child’s seat. I have no kids, and wasn’t entirely sure why I had to listen to that message, but it struck me how passionate he was about those child safety seats.

Fast forward to 2010, and I see entire families of four (mom, dad, baby strapped to mom’s back, little kid) riding on one motorcycle. I see girls sending text messages while riding motorbikes, 10-year old kids driving around, even people smoking or eating while riding motorcycles. These are regular occurrences, not rare events. Right after finishing this post, I will walk down the street and see motorcyclists doing things that would shock the average American. They just aren’t safe! Right?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself in my travels. I’ve driven a couple thousand miles on rented scooters in Vietnam, Thailand, Taiwan, and Bali. Seeing so many safety transgressions in so many countries among so many people has made me seriously reconsider just exactly what is “safe.” Granted, roads here are worse, vehicles have smaller engines, and traffic laws aren’t enforced (if there are laws). That creates a driving atmosphere in which people naturally drive quite a bit slower. I regularly find myself cruising through city streets at 10-20 mph, and pick it up to 30-45 mph when on the “highways.” Slower driving means much shorter stopping distances, and scrapes and bruises instead of deaths and paralyzations.

Are Americans too risk averse?

RELIGION

I’ve always been fascinated by religion. Having grown up in a highly religious community (of which I was not a member), raised by parents who had different religious backgrounds, but were non-practicing, gave me a close-up look with an outsider’s perspective. 

My travels have further cemented my longheld belief that religions and their associated beliefs have no supernatural foundations, that they consist of manmade creations for social organization, and are steeped in rituals, customs, and traditions that have little logical purpose. For whatever region, be it to organize society, fill time and bordeom, maybe to fill intellectual vacuum, someone started the various religions. Belief in a religion is not the same as belief in a God(s). I see religion like art:  some aspects are beautiful, and some aren’t. Like art, everyone interprets religious teachings, documents, and rituals differently.

Already evident to me, when traveling it becomes immensely more obvious that a person’s religion is nearly 100% based on parentage, and nearly 100% based on geography. Simply put, you are your parents’ religion. Your parents inherited the same religion from their parents. Most likely the majority of people in your nation, region of the world, and neighborhood share the exact same religion. If you had been born to pirates, you would believe in the Flying Spagehtti Monster.

What we have in the world are billions of people that are “religious,” practicing inherited beliefs, in nations and regions that are religiously segregated. Even in the US, perhaps the most diverse country on Earth, there are distinct pockets and regions with particular religious persuasions. Since such a very small percentage of people actually get to choose their religions, and since it is so obvious that one’s religion is a function of geography and parentage, why, then, are so many people all over the world so political, belligerent, and activist based on religious grounds? I see and hear more religious scripture cited in political discussions and am always baffled as to how such a stretch can be made.

Again, I’m a religious outsider who’s had some peeks at the inside, and I find it all fascinating, yet disturbing.

Just prior to Nyepi, here on Bali, there are many Hindu ceremonies. Additionally, there are always the ongoing customs, like respects for the dead. I was riding down the road last week and got stopped by a funeral procession of dozens of people walking down the middle of the road to a cremation ceremony. Every day, twice a day, people put rice on their foreheads, neck, and sometimes other spots for “good thoughts and feelings.” As the perspiration dries, the rice granules fall to the ground. Interesting.

In Mongolia, parents dress their baby boys as girls until two or three years old. The reason? To keep evil spirits from killing the baby boys. Males are seen as having higher value, so parents are very protective, dressing them as girls (we’re talking ponytails, hair clips, dresses, fingernail polish) until the toddlers are considered strong enough to live as boys. It sounds silly to us Westerners, but what about your own religious traditions…if an alien arrived on Earth and saw you practicing your religion, what would he think of it?

South Korea has some of the largest (and possibly the largest) Christian churches in the world. We’re talking a million members who take turns going to one building. It doesn’t take long to figure out that the majority of them are there for social purposes, and couldn’t tell you much at all about the bible. Is this bad? No, but it’s insightful to see what most religions are, that is, centuries-old social traditions sharing commonly-held, passed-down beliefs.

FAST FOOD WORLD

As a proud, yet somewhat cynical, American, one of my greatest fears is that in, say 200 years, civilization will look back on history and regard our most profound legacy (apart from the abstract ideas of: empowering and defending a big chunk of nations; apart from setting the bar for a free democracy and open society; apart from setting the bar for fighting from freedom of oppression; and apart from being that “shining light on a hill” to all people of all nations, showing that “all men are created equal”) as populating the planet with fast food and causing a worldwide obesity pandemic. This will be our brick-and-mortar legacy. There will be no pyramids for us, but fast food restaurants everywhere.

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about all the great things the US has given the world. Believe me, I have a laundry list of negatives, too, but one of the most negative is fast food. I’m not just talking about particular fast/junk food restaurants like McDonalds or Pizza Hut, but the concept of fatty, low-cost, chemically-enhanced, obesity-producing convenience foods. I see American fast food joints, and a lot of attempted ripoffs, all over Asia. It makes me a little sick thinking that my country is responsible for spreading such filth and knowing that the locals will continue to expand outward, literally.

One Balinese restaurant owner told me about his vacation to the US. He went to Los Angeles, New York, and even Park City, Utah. He loved the diversity of food in NYC, but  said everywhere else he visited offered only fast food restaurants. Being a healthy American takes tremdous work when our cheapest, fastest, tastiest choices are fast food.

THERE IS NO BEST POLITICAL SYSTEM

The more countries I visit and learn about, the more I believe that particular political systems work best with certain peoples and times. There is no best system, despite what we think, and try to force on others. This idea is not new, but a longheld anthropological teaching, where strong civilizations automatically equate prosperity with superiority. It’s part of what keeps the US from succeeding in building democracies in places like Iraq and Afghanistan, where the cultures are simply not structured for our Western-style governments.

I have been especially impressed with China and Vietnam, two of the last remaining “Communist” countries. People get scared off by the “Communist” label, but I assure you that their people are capitalist to the bone. I dare you to visit Vietnam and get aggressively pursued by people selling things and then tell me they are Communists. You don’t need a taxi ride? Okay, maybe they can help you find a barber, or get your shoes shined. Everybody has twenty jobs and works like crazy for an extra buck. Communist? Hardly. Class free societies? Not even close. Take a picture of the Hanoi man on his imported Harly, or visit the new area in Saigon that will make you think you got kidnapped and space-warped to a nice Dallas, Texas neighborhood. China and Vietnam are single-party governments, but to write them off as being “Communist” countries shows a simple understanding of the governments, and a complete lack of knowledge of the people. As one Vietnamese man told me, “The people are years ahead of the government. The government is racing to keep up with the financial freedom, trade, and innovation of the people.”

Singapore has the most efficient, streamlined, wealthy, modernized system of anyplace I’ve ever visited. What was once the garbage can of Malaysia made itself into greatness, in the course of one generation. It’s beyond amazing what they created, particularly considering the third world, impoverished nations surrounding them. Read this National Geographic article for a better understanding of how they did it (mainly under the guidance of one man).

I focus a lot on China because I see them as a global threat and as, inevitably, the next big (biggest?) superpower. Based on recent rhetoric, they are regressing to more government control, buying out private companies and cracking down on free speech. That said, I much admire the consistent, high growth of their economy, and the laserlike single party focus of their government to continue that growth. Say what you will about their piss poor civil rights record, and respect for individual rights, but don’t ignore China’s ability to rapidly shake and bake whatever needs shaking and baking in their power growth.

In the US, we are bogged down with two major parties, both of which are heavily influenced by special interest groups, and which regularly alternate power, and bicker incessantly. Yes, I’m complaining (what good citizen doesn’t?). Our country’s ability to seriously focus on real problems (the economy?) is highly limited by all the wedge issues.

All that said, I’d rather have our gridlocked representatives than oppression and threats from a single party government. At least as an American I have a voice to vote them all out next election.

AMERICANS HAVE IT GOOD.

Really good. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: we are the luckiest people on the planet to have been born in the USA. It’s a golden ticket to make of our lives whatever we want or to waste away. Even Noam Chomsky, the famous MIT professor who is a strong critic of our system, admits that the US is about as close as any country has ever come to being a class free society—that is, an average kid born into poverty or middle class can grow up to be a general, a CEO, or the President of the United States. Some have it easier, no doubt, but the doors are there waiting to be found and opened.

One quick example of the advantages we enjoy as Americans is our ability to travel freely. My toughest places to visit so far have been China and Vietnam. Both required me to get Visas prior to arrival. You know what I had to do? I had to mail my passport to the Chinese and Vietnamese offices in Washington, D.C. (or some other city), include a check, and wait. A week or two later I got my passport back, stamped with visas, ready to visit. Many Americans, by the way, think that process is “difficult.” As far as I know, Americans are welcome to visit every country in the world. The only ones we legally can’t visit are ones restricted by our own government (e.g. Cuba)! In other words, an American passport is a ticket to travel the world!

By comparison, most of the people I meet in SE Asia have no chance at ever visiting the US or other Western nations. For one, it’s just too expensive for them. While we’re complaining about our $20,000 jobs or $50,000 jobs, they are lucky to make $2,000 in a year. Sure they live at home and get by on hardly anything at all (they have to), but once they leave the region, how far do you think that income gets them?

Just to get a visa to visit the US on vacation is near impossible unless they can prove they have a lot of money in the bank (one Chinese person told me she must have $30,000 in her bank account, which is then locked up by the government until she returns), pass interviews, and show proof of job, etc.! I’ve spoken with several people who have been denied visas after meeting all the requirements.

HAPPINESS IS PERPLEXING

What is happiness? Is it momentary ecstasy or prolonged contentment? Can it be sustained indefinitely? Is happiness in memories or in dreams of the future? Is happiness being warm and dry, in clean clothes, on cool sheets, chatting with friends, making jokes with strangers, petting dogs, having hunger satisfied with met cravings? Does religion, marriage, or money correlate with happiness?

One of my goals since I quit my job last year and started traveling has been to learn more about people, to see what makes them tick, what makes them happy, and improve aspects of my own life.

Well, psychologists (and other professionals) have actually researched some of these things. As it turns out, except at extremely low levels of wealth (people who can’t afford shelter and clothes are nearly unanimously unhappy) there is very little correlation between money and happiness. With marriage and religion it gets trickier, but there is a lot of support to show that married and religious people are indeed marginally happier.

What about freedom? It might surprise you to learn that more freedom doesn’t necessarily mean more happiness. Every time I meet Russian girls being silly in hostels or Chinese people cracking jokes on the beach, I feel like shaking them violently and yelling “You are supposed to be unhappy and oppressed!” But they aren’t unhappy! Mongolians living in gers, eating the same foods everyday are not unhappy! People adapt to their conditions. If they are born into harsh conditions, there is little adapting required when moved into other harsh conditions.

I skimmed a book several months ago, The Paradox Of Choice, about this very idea of choice and happiness. It used an example of shopping for pants, and how the clothing store had literally dozens of types of jeans of different washes, different cuts and styles. It becomes overwhelming to have too many choices. Most of us would just as soon have someone throw a pair of jeans at us and then we could be on our way to a basketball game or something enjoyable. According to the book, research shows that having too much freedom and too many choices leads to inefficiency and lack of happiness. Who would have thought?

A married man who goes to steady work all day, comes home and eats with the family, watches sports with his friends on Saturdays, and goes to church on Sundays is in a strict routine. His choices are gone. There is no stress in worrying about finding a woman to build a family with, no worries about what to do on the weekend, etc. He just has to keep doing what he’s doing, which gives him the mind space, if you will, to truly enjoy those things.

As a more relevant example of how too many choices leads to unhappiness, I’ve read a couple articles (maybe they referenced the same study(ies)) about women. Despite the massive gains made by the feminist movement, despite the overwhelmingly open educational and occupational opportunities available to American women now, they are unhappier now than in decades past. Men, on the other hand, have shown fairly steady happiness levels over time. Why? Could it be that in the ambitiousness of “having it all”—a high salaried, highly respected job, high education, lots of friends, great social life, finding the perfect Mr. Right, having a full house of kids, living in a big, beautiful house, driving a stylish car, dressing well—that some of those things are forced, or impossible to have without losing out on some of another? Maybe it’s time for people to reevaluate what “having it all” means, or should mean…

Some of the key components of living I’ve learned, that increase the odds of endured happiness are keeping negative stress levels as low as possible and always manageable, having healthy, strong, and long lasting relationships, and taking care of the body through a good diet and exercise regime. Easy, right? If your “having it all” doesn’t allow for these three big components to exist, then maybe your “having it all” isn’t a road to happiness? And isn’t that what “having it all” is really all about, happiness?

GOOD STRESS IS GOOD FOR THE BRAIN

I miss work. I feel like I need a job, a mission, some goal to shoot for, a team to work with, something to complain about! having some stress is important and necessary to keep the brain tip top.

When older folks stop working, their brains slow down. They get sick sooner, and die earlier. Because of this, I want to work forever, but I want to choose where I live and what I’m doing and be able to control my exertion better.

I’m going on 10 months without a job, and am as relaxed as I can be. Too relaxed. I have never in my life had this much time to do whatever I want to do. I want someone or something to limit my choices! Yes, I’m saying it’s time for me to get a job.

THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH

Let’s face it, the world can be split into two groups: the haves and the have nots. If you’re reading this, you are one of the haves. Happiness is an uphill better for us, the haves, in my opinion. What I mean, is that we have been so fortunate to have done so much and had so many opportunities. Whether or not we took advantage of them, we know we can have them, and being satisfied means obtaining at least that level.

I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Though I think I live and conduct myself fairly conservatively, I enjoy being terrified and shocked occasionally. However, since I’ve had a good number of shocks, it takes something even more shocking or incredible to get my adrenaline going now. It’s very, very difficult for something to “Wow!” me. Maybe I’m a little jaded, but I think many, perhaps most of my generation in America, is the same.

This is the reason why I’m getting pickier and pickier about where I travel now. I’m not so sure I want to see every country anymore. I want to see only the most incredible places, and do only the things that I think will be unforgettable. After seeing Angkor, I really have little desire to see the temples anywhere else in SE Asia. They simply won’t impress me.

TRAVELING MAKES THE WORLD BETTER

If everyone were required and able to travel the world for a year, especially to those areas most unlike our homes, and to really attempt to understand other cultures, our world would be better and more peaceful.

The most understanding, compassionate, and tolerant people I’ve met, in the US and overseas, have tended to be the most well read and well traveled. I can’t say I’ve ever met a serious traveler with righteous, intolerant views. Is it the traveling and reading that makes people this way, or is there a certain type of people who flock to travel and higher education? Maybe both.

REFLECTION

So what have I learned this past year of unemployed traveling? That I’ve changed. I know I have changed. I feel like more than I was. I feel smarter, but question more of what I was taught in formal education. I’m unconvinced there is a “right” political system, or a “right” way of living, or a “right” religion. I know I have changed. I think I already had a healthy respect and appreciation for other cultures. That has only grown. With the growing respect, however, has grown a frustration of the inefficiencies in the world, mistakes that should have been corrected, processes that should have been improved, etc. I have to remind myself of those college anthropology lessons to mitigate my desires to “fix” the world. I know I want to work again. I know I have a big list of adventures I want to do. I know I want a big family. I know I want it all, but that it’s nearly impossible to have it all AND be happy at the same time. Less is more—that much I knew when I started.

Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia. The man labeled "confirmed threat" unsuccessfully tried to pick pocket my camera. I was so angry that I started taking pictures of him with the very camera he tried to steal. It led to a confrontation, but the pictures ended up with the police. As it turns out, this guy is a leader of an organized pick pocket ring, and is dangerous. I was lucky. The two women sitting down helped me out afterward, and their very presence probably kept the thief from getting violent. After traveling a while and having some security close calls, this picture illustrates cartoonishly how the brain starts to function. You can call it stereotyping, profiling, or whatever you want...but I call it necessary to my safety.

Have you ever walked down a street, changing directions when you saw someone that gave you a bad feeling? Afterward, did you realize what you did is arguably sexist, racist, ageist, or some kind of cultural discrimination? In Central and Southeast Asia, I have had many such situations and am convinced that demographic discrimination (profiling) is essential to safe worldly travels. With so much talk of discrimination in America recently, sparked by big political issues being debated, I want to throw some “brain food” out there that many of the political pundits don’t consider, namely, the benefits, necessity, and logic of discrimination.

As a biology major, I had a professor who once said something like “Tell me the nature of the crime, and I’ll tell you the gender of the criminal.” The FBI and other organizations have professionals who are able to look at clues and figure out fairly accurately the background of those involved. How do they do this? Using years of case studies and experience, they recognize correlations. It isn’t magic, and it isn’t some evil, nefarious practice. Rather, it is a way to indentify likelihood and prioritize efforts, thereby catching criminals faster and keeping the public safer. Simply put, certain demographics are much more likely to commit certain crimes. Ignoring that, while maybe “politically correct,” is naive and will never lead us to the roots of problems.

As individuals, we have our own mental files of “case studies” and experience from which we draw sweeping generalizations of others. There is nothing wrong with this, as it is a natural defense mechanism. We would be foolish to try to eliminate this personalized profiling from our own thinking or to attempt to raise children “blind” to the differences of others. If all crimes in every city in the world were committed in equal rations by the different age, gender, racial, religious, and other groups, then sure, we could strive for some kind of utopian society in which everybody is considered equal from the get-go. Unfortunately, those of us in the real world know that this is an impossible undertaking in our lifetimes. To force ourselves or children to be blind to differences opens us up to injury in the “real world.”

I am nearly always aware overseas, in varying degrees, of my personal safety. If I don’t like how somebody looks, and get that “gut feeling” something isn’t right, I remove myself from the environment. When I want a picture of myself, I seek tourists or local women to operate my camera, while intentionally avoiding local men aged 15-50. Let me offer some cases which have led this year to my further profiling or discriminating while traveling:

-In Vietnam, I went to the Cu Chi tunnels with a woman I met through couchsurfing (another topic forthcoming). While enjoying a drink of water near the concession stand, two men in their early 20s kept watching us. I would see one look at my camera or her purse, then I’d catch them looking at each other, doing that unspoken eyetalk we all recognize. Well, they walked by our table a couple times and my “gut feeling” was that these guys had designs on our belongings. I did what I thought necessary to keep us from getting robbed, but it became one of several instances that made me instantly distrustful of almost all Vietnamese men by the time I left the country.

-I avoid being anywhere near “ladyboys,” the famous transgendered population in Thailand, both because of the strangeness of them, and for my own safety. Most, I’m told, are prostitutes and thieves, sometimes using hidden, drug-laced needles to sedate victims or ganging up on drunk men to rob them of their money. Not all are prostitutes, and not all are thieves, but enough are that it’s a good idea to avoid them altogether, don’t you think? Aside from this one group, I’ve found myself generally comfortable and trusting of all Thais, much more so than I was of Vietnamese men.

- Various resources mention that organized pick pocketing in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia is often executed by pairs of men. So, guess who I was wary of, particularly when they were eyeballing my wallet or camera? Sure enough, one day at a busy outdoor market full of families, kids, and elders, two men in their 20s with no shopping bags, just moving along the crowds, were scanning others, particularly tourists. I positioned myself in such a way that they would have to face me head-on if they hoped to rob me. I have no doubt that they were looking for an easy loot. Just a few days later, a man in his 30s, working with others, unsuccessfully attempted to steal my camera while I was leaving the main post office.

-In South Korea, I had a couple instances where very old men wanted to practice English with me. Soon, the conversation would delve into religion. Religion, and learning English, happen to be incredibly big business in South Korea. Next thing I knew, I was being asked to teach English to some kind of religious group. After that happened a couple times, I started automatically labeling old South Korean men, who wanted to talk, as religious zealots targeting me! These were perfectly harmless men, but it illustrates how easily our minds start developing reactions to the patterns we experience. I don’t see myself as some anti-South-Korean-old-religious-men hater, but if I visit Seoul again and am approached, I will have my defenses up, ready to decline an offer to teach English at a church.

-Turning the tables around, as a tourist I am approached every day by dozens of people trying to sell me things. Locals don’t deal with this regular harassment. So, in a way, locals profile tourists as walking piggy banks, full of money. I could grow a big beard, shave my head bald, trade clothing with a local, and I believe I would still get approached. Expats I’ve met that have been living overseas for years continue to stand out like sore thumbs. I have that “foreigner” look about me and there is nothing I can do to erase it. As a man traveling alone, I get propositioned nearly every day. When I’ve shared this with female tourists, most are somewhat amazed. They are immune to the illegal human trafficking and sex industry that is rampant in Southeast Asia. Why do they pick on me? Because I fit a specific demographic that has a much higher likelihood of being interested in their “products.” They would be wasting their time trying to get middle-aged women to visit a go-go bar. Tourists are “victims” of this business profiling, but it still goes to show how people, the world over, make sweeping judgments based on appearances.

Even within the examples given, I don’t fully breakdown the detail of discrimination I use. It is far too complex and involves some intuition. For instance, it is too general to say I am wary of all Vietnamese men. In fact, when in Vietnam, I was unworried about men who appeared wealthy, because I had no reason to believe they would want the $30 I carried in my wallet. Men walking around with their wives or children seemed harmless to me. Taxi drivers, while incredibly annoying, were not a threat to me. We all analyze, even if subconsciously, so many different aspects of people to determine their agendas, to determine if we can trust them.

My favorite part of traveling is interacting with locals. I like to gain a deeper understanding of cultures than what I read in the travel books or see in movies. The differences among people are what make us fascinating, interesting, and worth celebrating. Why would we want to become some homogeneous, boring society? Trying to be “blind” to differences will not solve any problems. Maybe a better solution is to keep our eyes wide open, fully acknowledge then learn about those differences.

It’s okay to have preconceived notions—often, those notions are correct! If incorrect, we at least have an initial basis from which to learn. It’s okay to “discriminate” or “profile,” using our experiences to keep safe from those most likely to do us harm. Let’s get out of our minds this idea that any kind of discrimination and profiling are politically incorrect and despicable.

My intent here is to demonstrate that working toward a “colorblind, gender-blind, age-blind” society is naive at best, potentially unsafe, and hypocritical in attempts to tolerate and celebrate diversity. Additionally, my intent is to show that all of us have experiences that shape how we view others, and that treating groups of people differently isn’t necessarily so simplistic that we should cry “racism,” or “sexism” every time our feelings get hurt. That “discrimination” we all exhibit is often based on a natural desire for self preservation, shaped by our experiences, and has nothing evil or ignorant about it.

What do you think? Have you ever been in a situation where you felt at risk from a person you had never seen before or talked to? When traveling overseas and initiating conversations with strangers or seeking help, do you tend to favor a certain demographic or do you just grab the nearest person, having 100% trust in everyone? Do you think having a personal “profiling” mental database has been helpful to you, or is it something you feel needs to be eliminated from our thinking if we are to have a better society?

Before jumping into the discussion of talk radio, I want to talk about driving well rested. My fatigued driving instances mentioned above happened 10-15 years ago, when I still had that invincible feeling. I was the reason why insurance companies charge young men such high premiums. By trying to drive such great distances at a time, I put myself and others unnecessarily at risk. Nowadays, I strive to drive defensively and rested, taking particular care when others are in my car.

A quick Google search yields dozens of lists on staying awake during drives. These lists include things like singing along to music, having a refreshing drink, talking to passengers, eating gum or snacks, driving during daylight, and rolling the window down. All of these are simple techniques for fighting fatigue, to drive on for a while longer.

Obviously, the best way to drive refreshed is to get a good night’s sleep and then stop driving when tired. I practice that preventative technique now. If I’m feeling tired, I’ll refuel at the nearest gas station and take a nap in the parking lot. In fact, on a road trip home from Moab, Utah last month, I pulled into a rest area because I was feeling tired. I slept for nearly two hours! Even though I had less than three hours drive home, I felt much safer and well rested because of that nap.

So, how does talk radio play into safe driving? On a 1,600 mile road trip 5 weeks ago, I discovered that talk radio is the single best technique, aside from sleeping, for staying alert. Having a refreshing drink, listening to the radio, or rolling down the windows work temporarily because they affect our senses. Our senses, however, easily become numb to the changes, sometimes in as little as a minute or two. If we can stimulate our brains instead, that alertness can last much, much longer. Talk radio does that.

Out of range of any FM radio stations, I clicked over to AM and happened upon a radio talk show host bellowing about how the country is going down the tubes. He cited many polarizing news stories and invited listeners to call. For the first time in my life, I called in to have a discussion with a talk radio host. I felt more awake during that call than I ever do drinking Red Bull! It was as stimulating as a verbal argument. Best of all, it is a memorable experience because you are “on air” and can use a pseudonym and take an extremist stance on something, just for kicks!

Here are the steps to talking on the phone safely while driving.

1. Determine someone mentally stimulating to call—a crazy friend or a talk radio host will do.

2. Make the call in light traffic. I’m not suggesting talking on the phone in the city or in congested traffic. I advocate phoning while driving only on freeways with light traffic, where you are on “cruise control” literally and/or figuratively.

3. Use hands-free technology like Bluetooth or speakerphone to talk, so both hands are free to manipulate vehicle controls and take emergency action if needed.

4. Have interesting, challenging conversations that keep you mentally stimulated!

What techniques do you use for staying awake while driving? Have you had an accident or close call while driving fatigued? Do you have experience calling radio talk shows? Is driving fatigued as bad as driving drunk?

Let’s divide personal safety into two broad categories, passive safety and active safety. Passive safety is by far the more important because it is preventative. If I successfully prevent an attack from ever taking place, I’ll never have to worry about actively defending myself.

Let’s further divide passive safety into sub-components of avoidance and deterrence.

Avoidance is the single most important thing I can do to stay safe. Abstaining from travel altogether is obviously the most conservative way to avoid trouble. Because hiding in my bedroom behind a locked door all day is impractical, here are some more useful techniques:
-Avoid known trouble spots
-Avoid being out late at night
-Avoid interacting with hooligans
-Avoid solicitation
-Avoid places with no escape routes
-Avoid standing out from others
-Avoid putting all money in one place

Next to avoiding compromising situations, deterrence is the next best line of preventative defense. Potential adversaries generally seek the easiest targets. By making myself appear as a difficult target, I should naturally deter many attacks:
-Grow a beard
-Gain muscle
-Walk confidently
-Have a shaved head
-Travel with a companion
-Wear conservative attire
-Dress down
-Keep passport and valuables under clothes
-Never wear jewelry or carry valuables
-Don’t be the easiest target in a group

Adhering to passive safety techniques will prevent the vast majority of attacks. Some unsafe situations, however, are simply impossible to foresee because we can’t accurately predict behaviors of all strangers all the time. Active safety measures might help in these dynamic situations. Responding quickly to time-critical problems creates a large margin for error, possibly making the problem much worse. In many cases, it might be better to avoid any of these techniques and let a low-level crime, such as theft, run its course:
-Have a cellphone with loaded emergency numbers
-Learn fighting skills to fend off attackers
-Carry some cash all the time
-Evade to a place with lots of people
-Make noise
-Cause a commotion
-Use common items such as a key or pen as “self defense devices”

I know there a lots of techniques out there such as having two wallets, one of which is built for thieves, having hidden pockets sewn into pants, using GPS tracking tools, or even hiring a local to keep watch. What rules do you have for traveling and staying safe?