The Honorable Council Members

Mongolian National Chamber of Commerce and Industry

MNCCI Building, Mahatma Ghandi Street

Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia 17011

Subject: Addition to Honorary MNCCI Representatives Roster

Dear MNCCI Council Members:

On behalf of the United States of America, I humbly request inclusion as an Honorary Representative to the Mongolian National Chamber of Commerce and Industry. In this unpaid capacity, I believe I can help your country while positively representing my own. Simply put, what I can offer Mongolia are tourism words of encouragement, urban modernization and countryside conservation ideas, and a promise to work together to position Mongolia’s interests at the forefront of my representation. I offer these things from a shoes-on-the-street, non-corporate, wilderness-loving perspective. Please let me represent Mongolia in a formal capacity.

This month I traveled to Mongolia, my first time there, and was awestruck by the traditions, independence, and pride of the people. In particular, I found the countryside to be beautiful, inviting, and largely undisturbed by modern development. Hopefully Mongolia’s countryside never changes. As an Honorary Representative, I would promote countryside tourism and encourage economic development that has minimal to no impact on the environment and people.

During my stay in Mongolia, Ulaanbaatar served as an urban hub for transportation into and out of the country, as well as a base for relaxation and planning countryside ventures. Though Ulaanbaatar has much to offer in its own right, I am inclined to believe that most tourists see the city as a base, too. Because it serves such an important purpose for tourists, because of its growing size, and because of its increasing political and economic importance, Ulaanbaatar could use some modernization and beautification. As an Honorary Representative, I would encourage the government to improve tourist and overall pedestrian infrastructure.

Funding for public projects is a never ending problem, the world over. I have some ideas for generating or saving money. First, Mongolia could consider changing to a coin-based currency, at least up to a certain level, say 5,000 Tugrik. Coins last far longer than paper and are a proven money saver. Another way to improve public facilities like sidewalks is to charge foreign businesses an “entry fee.” In exchange for the privilege of operating in Mongolia, a company would have to pay extra taxes, pay a one-time fee, or simply improve the public area immediately outside its store, out to the street. This is a win-win solution, improving Ulaanbaatar, while also creating a pleasant shopping environment to attract more customers and tourists to the business.

My fascination in Mongolia is primarily with the uniqueness of the countryside. Most foreign visitors probably visit Mongolia for that reason, too. Above all, if I serve as an Honorary Representative, my primary focus, hopefully aligned with the council members, would be to limit development to urban areas. My status as a traveler, unattached to any corporation or institution with designs on Mongolia, puts me categorically apart from most representatives. Please let me work with the committees and councils of the MNCCI to improve urban Mongolia while retaining the traditions and beauty of the countryside!

Sincerely,

Brook

I write this letter in hopes of obtaining employment as a Car Name Selector. I will bring enthusiasm, maturity, and creativity to the position.

During recent travels through Japan, it has become obvious that Japanese automobile manufacturers have a poor record at choosing names for domestically sold vehicles. I have seen names such as That’s, Every, Joy Pop, Terios Kid, and the tongue-in-cheek Toppo BJ. These are just a few of the terrible car names I have seen. No Japanese manufacturer seems to be without blame.

Interesting Japanese car Names

To gauge the severity of this problem, imagine this conversation:
“Hey guys, I just bought a That’s!”
“What’s that?”
“A That’s”
“That’s what?”
“What I just bought.”
“What did you just buy?”
“That’s what I just bought!”
“Dude, WHAT did you just buy?!”
“No, That’s what I just bought!”
“Yeah, but what’s it called?”
“That’s what it’s called!”
“I hate you and your dog is ugly!”
“I hate you, too!”

Clearly, some of the Japanese automobile names could lead to lost lifelong friendships and possibly lawsuits. Why let business deteriorate, especially in these rough economic times, when my employment will inexpensively and efficiently solve these nomenclature problems?

Because I have no background in car name selection, no resume is attached. References, however, are available upon request. Skillsets I can bring to the job include a lifetime of American marketing saturation. Like any red-blooded American, branding and consumer awareness are part of my soul.

As compensation, I request 20,000,000 Yen per year and complimentary gym membership, the equivalent of maybe a dozen new cars. Also, I ask to work from anywhere in the world. I will gladly visit Japan as often as needed to view and test prototype vehicles or to meet with your marketing department. My sole responsibility and job title will be Designated Automobile Model Nomenclature Expert.

To prove how confident I am in my ability to pick great names resulting in higher subsequent sales, I offer a risk-free guarantee. If my car name selections do not result in profits greater than my compensation, I will return the entire income.

Give me this opportunity and I promise your company’s satisfaction, increased vehicle sales, and better automobile names.

Sincerely,

Brook