The Upside of Traveling Alone

Left: On the subway in Tokyo, Japan, wishing I had a travel buddy sitting next to me, rather than this tired student who decided to use my shoulder as a pillow. Right: At Doi Inthanon, Thailand, taking a blurry picture of myself. There are downsides to traveling alone. Not having a full time picture taker is one of them.

Have you ever had a once-in-a-lifetime experience, something so funny or profound that it could never be repeated, and immediately afterward wished a friend were there to share it? Me, too. Traveling with another has to be the best way to build a better friendship, share interesting memories, and look out for the safety and welfare of each other.. That said, I have had many experiences that never would have been possible were I with a group. Going solo brings a level of speed and flexibility that is simply impossible with a group.

I’ve had some really good times in the couple instances I’ve journeyed with other travelers these last four months, and find fascinating the dynamic others have with their travel buddies. It has been insightful to me to see how their decision making works and how time consuming it can be. As a “lone wolf” type person, however, I value my independence above all. These are some of the reasons why traveling alone is so great.

-Complete independence. Nobody relies on me and I don’t have to rely on others. After years of work requiring reliance, which could be very rewarding but often frustrating, this new independence is refreshing.

-I go where I want. Rather than having to deliberate with someone about where we should visit, I go to all the places I wish. Furthermore, I can change my mind instantly with no consultation. My original itinerary has changed wildly and it simply doesn’t matter! I’m accountable to no one but myself. Eventually, in the months or years ahead, I will visit all the planned countries, but if I’m particularly enjoying myself somewhere then I stay longer, feeling no pressure to stick to my bar napkin plan.

-I eat what I want. If I want to walk off a Nha Trang, Vietnam street and into the busiest locals-only phở’ restaurant I’ve ever seen, I do it, not worried about someone telling me how unsafe the food could be, or worried that people are throwing pork bones and napkins on the floor. If I have a craving for pizza, I get a pizza then and there.

-I make new friends easily. Being alone makes it especially easy to meet new people. I like talking with others and, since I have no travel buddy, I talk with strangers. It’s not uncommon for that talk to lead to a new travel idea, knowledge of the best local spots, dinner with a local family, or a night out with locals. Other travelers I meet are usually somewhat confused or surprised that I would make friends with locals at airports, bus stations, hotels, restaurants, etc. It’s almost as if it isn’t in the realm of possibility that a person could do that. When I have all the time in the world and travel at my own pace, engaging in conversation is effortless and agenda-less.

-I never have to worry about making a poor decision. Because I’m alone, I’m 100% responsible for my situation, and have no one to blame and no one to blame me. Surprisingly, this has a remarkable impact on my thinking. I am constantly looking ahead to what’s next and rarely ever questioning myself about what I could have done, should have done, or would have done.

-Logistics are very easy. I can’t count the times I’ve booked transportation minutes or hours in advance. I can decide I want to go elsewhere and then do it as soon as possible. Limiting my planning to a matter of a few minutes per day makes it no harder than getting dressed.

-I spend time where I want. My interests are vast, but undoubtedly differ from others’ in degree and type. Whereas I might want to make a quick visit to a crowded market to watch people or meet merchants, another person might want to spend all day there buying inexpensive brand name clothing.

-It’s easy to find an opening. Being a single traveler, I can easily be moved around to accommodate myself or others. I routinely move from my assigned seats on buses and planes to give myself more room. On my Halong Bay, Vietnam tour package, I opted for a shared room to cut costs. I ended up, however, with my own private room on the boat and in the island bungalow because of circumstances with other groups. This, paying for cheaper shared accommodation and ending up with my own room, happens often enough that I almost expect it. On one occasion, I even got the only seat remaining on a space-available flight, skipping ahead of 30 other people traveling as friends or families unwilling to split. I was enjoying the beaches of Hawaii while they were still stuck on the mainland hoping for better luck in the days ahead.

-I get the “he’s cool”  treatment from people trying to make side deals. I mean, when interacting alone with some local merchant or security person, I am seen as less of a risk to them getting caught making special deals with me. Couples and groups are too clunky and loud, but a single person is quiet and very flexible. Recently, I gained private access to a “no entrance” portion of a world famous site, something that I doubt would have happened were I with others.

-There is a never-ending sense of adventure. When I step off the plane in Cambodia, I have no idea what to expect and have nobody there as a security blanket or to provide comfort. Being the only foreigner on a bus or in a restaurant can be very thrilling. For anyone who likes an adrenaline fix, traveling alone is an easy way to get a steady diet.

Have you ever traveled solo? What were some of the benefits? Do you think traveling alone is different for a woman or makes more sense in certain locations?