Secrets to Making Memories

Have you ever been to an exotic location, visited a famous landmark, or tried some new food, only to be disappointed? Do all the churches and statues and bridges you’ve seen start blending in after a while? If so, then this post is for you! I have been thinking about this topic throughout my travels, trying to understand and systematically breakdown exactly what makes great memories.

This is an unusual topic because memories are something we take for granted. They just happen. Some are good, some bad, yet others forgettable. Memories run the gamut from near-photographic-memory-like quality to blurriness to accessible only through hypnosis or some other subconscious-inducing technique. Why do memories vary so much? How can we control them? Should we try to control them or does that give them a fake quality?

Here are things that help make great memories:

*Share with others. For something to be memorable, it is extremely helpful to share with somebody. Sharing an experience adds a dimension that can’t be equaled when alone. Technology makes this easier, but it’s still not as good as sharing in person. For instance, recently I was eating dinner in Roppongi, Tokyo, Japan when a strong, long-lasting earthquake hit. I was eating alone, but talked briefly about the quake with a group sitting next to me. Sharing the experience with them added to my memory of the event. Immediately after the quake, I mentioned it on Facebook, sharing it with friends and family, getting feedback from them, and making my memory stronger.

*Have strong relationships with those whom we share. Back to my earthquake example, I did not know the other people in the restaurant, did not befriend them, and will never see them again. We commented for a few seconds on the quake, but that was the lifespan of our relationship. Had I been with a relative or friend, especially one with whom I maintain close, regular contact, the event would have had an emotional aspect to it and the memory would undoubtedly be shared over and over, giving it a longer, stronger lifespan.

*Make a record. Recording memories lets us relive the event as often as we wish, and with fairly accurate clarity. Taking pictures, making movies, writing a journal, or even sending an email creates a record that we can access later. With videos and pictures, those records are near perfect replays letting us relive the event, though from a slightly different perspective.

*Ensure an emotional aspect. Emotions are at the heart of memories. When we talk about memories being strong or say that we’ll “never forget” something, it is always because of some incredibly strong emotional attachment we have. A strong memory I have from college is when I moved out of a rental house after sophomore year. My roommates and I put our bigger items outside in the small, private, off-street yard overnight. My canvas Everlast punching bag disappeared by the next morning. I get angry as I type this, recalling the rage I felt at seeing it missing. Why was I so upset at losing something that I could easily replace with a couple hours work? Because it was sentimental to me. My dad bought the bag used at a garage sale for my brother and I when we were about 10. Getting a  and it was a really big deal to us to get a gift like that. In a way it wasn’t about a boxing bag at all. It was about that boxing bag. The people that stole the bag tainted a really great childhood memory. Of all items listed to build great memories, this is the one that is most difficult to create. How can we attach anger or sadness or happiness to a mundane tourist event, like seeing the Statue of Liberty, to make it memorable?

*Allow timespace. If we clutter too many things into a short amount of time, the events become blurry and less meaningful. To me, a long-weekend in Las Vegas is a blur. I’ve had several stays in Las Vegas, but two jaunts in particular were with groups of friends over three or four days. During those days, I might have gotten 10-15 hours sleep total. The rest of the time was spent doing what people do in Las Vegas. A week after leaving and recovering, each Las Vegas weekend seemed blurry. I know I had fun, and those getaways seem dreamlike because of the stream of events quickly tied together. Unfortunately, I have difficulty recalling specifics with clarity.

*Be sober and well-rested. Returning to my Las Vegas trips, I think a big part of my problem was fatigue. Fatigue and inebriation have similar effects on the brain. Neither is a good trait for those operating heavy machinery, nor is either good for creating strong, clear memories.

*Complicate the event. All of the ways I’ve listed so far are fairly obvious techniques for creating great memories. This technique is one I’ve been toying with for a while. It’s by no means original. We’ve all done this before, at least by accident, but I don’t know that anyone has talked about it in depth. By complicating the event, I mean that we should add a twist to what we experiencing. Rather than stand on the Golden Gate Bridge for a boring picture to prove you were there, why not do a handstand or run across it? Why not float the Venetian canals on a 3-man raft (okay, this one might be illegal)? As another example, today I rode a cyclo in Ho Chi Minh City. A cyclo is an obsolete 3-wheeled transportation cycle that is only used these days for tourists wanting a picture in one. Rather than ride idly in one, I rented one from the owner and peddled myself around one of the busiest traffic circles in the world. I nearly caused some crashes and was honked at repeatedly, but it was an incredible experience and one I will remember for a long time. Sitting in the front of a cyclo for a short ride would likely be forgettable.

Taking these factors into consideration, I think we can manufacture strong, long-lasting memories. Sharing an experience with a close friend, making a video of it, relaxing afterward to let the experience linger unobstructed in the mind, being alert, somehow tying a strong emotion to it, and complicating it with a secondary action will surely result in a good memory. Those are many things and, of course, not all are necessary for making memories.

Because I am relatively young and have many days of travel ahead of me, I ask you to help me add to this topic so I can continue to improve my memory-making abilities! Yes, I am being selfish on this post—I like memories! Tell me what you think makes the best memories. Tell me if you have any techniques for creating better memories.